Getting curious about your pain
How do you normally think about your pain? If you’re actively suffering, you probably think of it somewhere on the spectrum of nuisance to catastrophe, as something to get rid of or distance yourself from. You probably hate it and resent that it’s ruining your life. Holding you back from all of the things you used to be able to do.
This is all perfectly natural. Being in pain is objectively awful. Especially being in pain chronically, for weeks, months, or years.
The paradox of pain
The problem is that wrestling with and resenting your pain can cause it to intensify and stick around over time. That’s because when you’re afraid that something will happen or when you’re not willing to have an experience, you create conditions where that thing you’re afraid of is more likely to happen. In the case of pain, these conditions include things like hypervigilance (being “on the lookout” for pain sensations to the point that you are much more sensitive to them), tensing up your body so that it is less comfortable and more strained to begin with, and being more likely to interpret safe bodily sensations as dangerous.
So your feelings are righteous and appropriate, and contributing to more of the same problem.
I say this not to blame you, me, or anyone else who has chronic pain. I say this because we can’t generate a meaningful solution until we are very clear on what the problem is. By switching our focus from our bodies (where we think chronic pain lives) to our minds (where a large portion of our chronic pain actually lives), we can develop solutions that are A LOT more impactful.
Shifting your mindset toward pain
Today, we’ll take a first step toward cultivating a mindset that is conducive to having less pain and even being pain free. I think you’ll be surprised at how putting these practices into action changes not just your relationship with your pain, but your life as a whole.
We’ll start with one of the most fundamental mindset shifts that can take you from being in pain all the time to being pain-free: curiosity.
What comes up for you when I say that? You may be having some less-than-favorable reactions to this suggestion, such as: “I don’t want to be curious about my pain, I want it to go away.” “How can that possibly be helpful?” “I’ve been told I need surgery, not curiosity.” Or simply, “NOPE.”
Try making a list right now of your reactions to the suggestion that getting curious about your pain can help reduce your pain.
Getting curious (you are really interesting!)
Now get curious about those reactions (yes, this practice starts right now). Ask yourself:
What emotions are underneath your reactions? It might be anger, irritation, and frustration, with an undercurrent of fear and hopelessness. This is the usual mix when it comes to living with chronic pain. Let’s add exasperation in there too for good measure.
How does rejecting the idea of being curious keep you feeling safe? What does it protect you from? As a chronic pain sufferer, you may be wedded to the idea that your body hurts because there is something wrong with it. You may assume that curiosity isn’t going to help that. That you need to stay focused on getting your needs met. You might feel that rejecting this suggestion protects you by keeping the focus on your physical body where you think it belongs and not on your psyche, beliefs, or personality.
Finally, ask yourself: What is the best possible outcome of shifting into a mindset of curiosity? What is the worst? You may not yet know what the best possible outcome will be, but take a guess. Allow yourself to dream that the best possible outcome could be that this mindset helps you to reduce or eliminate your pain. Allow yourself to make contact with this idea even if it’s scary to be hopeful. And the worst? Probably that nothing changes. No worse than that. So what do you have to lose?
Try answering these questions for yourself with a mindset of openness and inquisitiveness. There is a lot of interesting stuff going on in your mind, especially when it comes to your pain. See how it feels to walk through the next few days or weeks with a spirit of wondering and questioning about all that is buried in the deep recesses of your fascinating mind. This is your first step toward creating a mindset that helps you to feel less pain.
Need more help releasing your mind and reducing your pain? Check out my group coaching program for chronic pain and request to join today.
The content shared here is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment. Always seek advice from your physician or other qualified healthcare provider before making changes to your health regimen.
